Our 2 biggest Problems

By Dr John Townsend

“It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick. But go and learn what this means, ‘I desire compassion, and not sacrifice,’ for I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matthew 9:12-43)

Jesus point was that we all have problems and needs to be looked at, understood, loved, and helped by Him and His resources. But revealing these problems is often the larger problem. We can call our efforts to conceal these problems defenses, which are anything we use to protect ourselves from danger. We put them up as spiritual and emotional “shields” to keep from being exposed or hurt. This isn’t to say that we have only one shield. Most of us use a variety of hiding patterns in different situations.

We tend to select certain shields depending on two factors:
(1) what injured part of ourselves we’re protecting;
(2) who or what we’re protecting ourselves from.

I believe that the reason why we tend to hide our problems and struggles can be traced to two basic problems in life:
(1) we’re unfinished people;
(2) we fear the very things we need to restore us.

PROBLEM #1: WE’RE UNFINISHED

Our fundamental problem is that we are an unfinished people. As Christians, all of us are somewhat like a beautiful but damaged home under restoration. Our basic problem in life is that we are an unfinished and damaged creation, somewhere in between the blueprint and the final whisk of the cleaning cloth. Just as a contractor provides labor and materials to build the structure, we are to be active par­ticipants in our own growth. The solution to our problem is to find our areas of spiritual and emotional unmaturity, and to enter into the process of restoring those parts to their renovated condition.

The fundamental problem of being unfinished has many kinds of effects in our lives. One area of growth that many of us struggle with is a need for genuine, deep, warm personal relationships. Sometimes this need is manifested in a deep sense of not “belong­ing.” of not “fitting in.” It seems there is a void inside our hearts that just will not be filled. The Bible proclaims our need for connection. At the deepest spiritual and emotional level, we are beings who need safety and a sense of belonging in our three primary relationships: God, self. and others. We begin life in a terrified and disconnected state. Disconnectedness is the most destructive result of sin’s entrance into the universe. It is the deepest and most fundamental problem we can experience.

This disconnectedness is a violation of the very nature of God, of what He holds primary. God created us for a life of closeness and attachment. Jesus declared that the entire Hebrew Scriptures rested on loving God and people. Perhaps the number one root of emotional disorders is that some part of the self is isolated from relationship.

PROBLEM #2: WE FEAR WHAT WE NEED

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. [Psalm 139:13-15, NIV) Because of the effects of Adam and Eve’s fall from innocence into sin, those “inward parts” made by God have been damaged in their ability to function in some way. Let’s face it, sin injures us! And untangling the combination of “what’s broken and why” is a major task we must undertake if we’re to see those injured parts healed.

Jesus talks about the principle of roots and fruits in Matthew 7: 17-18: “Every good tree bears good fruit; but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit.” In other words, results always point to causes. Children are a good example. A family with loving, successful children is generally a sign of some good roots, such as parenting style, environment, and support. The family with troubled children is often a sign of some sort of struggle in the parents’ lives. The same is true in our lives. Our spiritual and emotional fruit points to our roots.

Hiding always has some fruit, or symptom. In other words, you and I can detect hiding in our lives by the problems it causes. When we hide, a part of our character is pushed away from rela­tionship into a spiritual darkness called isolation. The isolation of some part of our soul from love will always produce a problem. This makes sense, because whatever is isolated from nourish­ment remains broken and undeveloped. In the physical world, we call this malnutrition. Spiritual and emotional malnutrition are just as destructive.

But suppose there are no detectable symptoms in our life? Should we take a look at our defenses anyway? Certainly, pre­vention is better than cure. Recall David’s prayer in Psalm 139. He asks God for awareness without mentioning any symptoms. It’s likely that he’s taking a preventive look at himself. So even if we appear to be without symptoms (which really isn’t possible in a fallen world), we’re wise to stay awake, spiritually and emotionally. Awareness is not all we need, however. We require an envi­ronment of safe relationships in order to come out from hiding, no matter how much insight and information we have about our spiritual and emotional makeup. This is how God designed it.

This point is often missed in our Christian circles, where it is often assumed that doctrinal exposure to the truths of the Bible is sufficient to ensure solutions to all problems. Yet Jesus Himself stressed the necessity of relationship in order to take in truth. His statement “I am the way, and the truth, and the life” (John 14:6) is one indication that knowing a person is necessary to knowing his truth. To know here means to understand personally, not just intellectually. This “knowing” applies to relationships with people as well as with God.

The heart of God places great value on our needs being met. Jesus’ anguish over His people’s turning from His provision is a poignant picture: “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling” (Matthew 23:3 7)

God wants to help His people in their struggles, dames tells us God is a gift-giver: Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation, or shifting shadow. (James 1:17) The Bible presents God as a Father who is anxious to see His chil­dren taken care of. He delights in helping us, in providing for us.