The problems with pride

By Dr John C Maxwell

Pride goes before disaster, and a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)

Pride is such a huge barrier to success and the development of talent that we need to examine it in greater detail. Here are just a few of the negative effects of pride as they relate to Teachability:

1. Pride Closes Our Minds to New Ideas

I’ve yet to meet a conceited, arrogant, or prideful person who possessed a teachable spirit. How about you? The writer of Proverbs observed, “Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” Teachability in its most fundamental form is a willingness to open our minds to new ideas. Pride prevents that.

2. Pride Closes Our Minds to Feedback

Stephen Covey comments, “It takes humility to seek feedback. It takes wisdom to understand it, analyze it, and appropriately act on it.” I’ve already confessed to you that I have not always been a good listener. But I’ve learned over the years that I cannot do anything of real value alone. Achievement requires teamwork, and none of us is as smart as all of us. Having learned that lesson, I am continually asking members of my team to give me input on my ideas. I find this most valuable before team members or I take action, but I also solicit feedback throughout the process. The communication process looks something like this:

The process begins with an idea, which becomes improved through the interaction of the team. But what also happens is that because of the input and feedback I receive, my next idea improves. As long as I am willing to listen to and embrace feedback, it not only improves whatever task we’re working on; it also improves me!

3. Pride Prevents Us from Admitting Mistakes

The commanding admiral ordered a group of navy pilots on maneuvers to maintain radio silence. But one young pilot mistakenly turned on his radio and was heard to mutter, “Man, am I fouled up!” When the admiral heard it, he grabbed the microphone from the radio operator and barked into it, “Will the pilot who broke radio silence identify himself immediately!” After a long pause, a voice on the radio was heard to say, “I may be fouled up, but I’m not that fouled up!”

Fear may keep some people from admitting mistakes, but pride is just as often the cause. The problem is that one of the best ways we grow is by admitting mistakes and learning from them. Writer William Bolitho observed, “The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on our gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from our losses. That requires intelligence; and makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.”

4. Pride Keeps Us from Making Needed Changes

Anytime we do a job and think we did it well, we become reluctant to make changes to our work. We become dedicated to the status quo instead of progress. Why? Because we have an emotional investment in it. For example, anytime in the past when I’ve taken a leadership position in which I inherited a staff, I had little reluctance to make changes for the good of the organization. If someone wasn’t doing the job and or could not grow and improve, I would replace him or her. However, if someone I selected was falling short, I was much slower to make the needed change. Pride caused me to defend what sometimes should not have been defended. When it comes to changing others, we want to do it immediately. But changing ourselves? Not so fast! That’s a problem.

How to Overcome a Pride Problem

An obstacle to your growth, then you need to take some deliberate and strategic steps to overcome it. That may not be easy, bounding Father Benjamin Franklin observed, “There is perhaps not one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as pride, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive. Even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.” To start the process, here is what I suggest:

Recognize and Admit Your Pride

The first and most difficult step in overcoming pride is recognizing that it’s a problem since those who are bound by it are often unaware of it. To defeat pride, we need to embrace humility, and few desire that. Writer and apologist C. S. Lewis remarked, “If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realize that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, you are very conceited indeed.”

To try to maintain perspective, I have carried a poem by Saxon White Kessinger with me. And when I’m starting to think that I’m really important, I pull it out and read it. The poem is called “Indispensable Man.”

Sometime when you’re feeling important;

Sometime when your ego’s in bloom

Sometime when you take it for granted

You’re the best qualified in the room,

Sometime when you feel that your going

Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions

And see how they humble your soul;

Take a bucket and fill it with water,

Put your hand in it up to the wrist,

Pull it out and the hole that’s remaining

Is a measure of how you’ll be missed.

You can splash all you wish when you enter,

You may stir up the water galore,

But stop and you’ll find that in no time

It looks quite the same as before.

The moral of this quaint example

Is do just the best that you can,

Be proud of yourself but remember,

There’s no indispensable man.

People have a natural tendency to believe—or to hope—that they are indispensable, that the world will stop and take notice if anything happens to them. But I have to tell you, as someone who has presided over many funerals, life goes on. When someone dies, the family and friends closest to him grieve. But the rest of the people who attend the reception after the funeral are more worried about the potato salad than the dearly departed. So Kessinger’s advice is really good: do your best but remember that no one is indispensable.