Lowest of the lowest

Totally not on top of the world, not even at half the level, more like at the valley, the bottom most. The phone call I got on the 22 Jan 08 left me all stunned and shocked. My heart could not help but beating fast. The news which was broken to me sounded unbearable, I needed to go back home as fast as I could. But at the same time, I do not know if there is of much help if I were back. Me & J rushed to the airport, but we missed the SQ flight, tried another alternative, but will need to transfer to KL before reaching Pg. Tho I know that I'll be home late, even midnight time, but I do not care, I needed to go home, to see her.

Everyone was shocked, everyone! The unpredictable news left everyone heart broken. Never did I thought that a little girl as small as 9 years 9 months will leave the world so early, that none of us ever expected such things will happen to her, as early. We all know that to the Drs, the disease was incurable, but we kept our faith strong. Tho at time, we shatterred, and even doubted Him, she never! never once!

Til the last moments of her life, she never once blamed God. To her, her Abba Father has healed her. Even the every minute before she was home to be with the Lord, she utterred words of encouragement " Mom, dont cry, I'm fine...". I really wonder, how could this little one be of such strong faith. Even myself sometimes blamed the Lord, when things do not go my way, but never once did she complain. I was truly astonished.

Like her Pastor daddy said, shes truly a fighter. She endured the pain in her abdominal region, the pain on her liver due to metastases.But she never once complaint. Instead, she said " Satan, has brought pain to me, Go away!" There is indeed no word to describe her. As young as she may be, her faith is as high as the mountain, and as deep as the ocean.

One 24 Jan 08, she was cremated. Called home to be with the Lord, many saw her playing with little children up in the heaven. Even me myself believed that she is in good hands now. Tho as much as we love her, the Lord loves her even more, much more. As her dear friend SC told me the moment she breathe her last breath, keep walking, keep walking straight, and hold unto Jesus. She breathe deep, as if though trying to catch up with somemore, hold His hand, and then breath her last breath. We all know that she has caught hold of Jesus' hands.

There is not doubt that we will miss her. We cant even doubt that we may cry, that grief is often inevitable. But we have hope, she as brought hope to us, a testimony for us, for we needed a relationship with Christ as what she has done. That in the walks with Christ, never doubt Him, never blame Him, for He knows whats best for us. Her favourite verse...

Psa 23:1 The LORD [is] my shepherd; I shall not want.

Psa 23:2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

Psa 23:3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Psa 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Psa 23:5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Psa 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.